Introduction
Interpersonal conflict occurs when two or more people are in disagreement. There are a lot of reasons why people end up at odds with each other within their relationships. Sometimes disagreements are about the tactics intended to accomplish a goal, and sometimes disagreements are feelings-based. Most often, disagreements stem from a misunderstanding or lack of clarity. If this sounds familiar, it is because conflict is quite common both in our personal lives and in the workplace. For our purposes, we will be focusing on conflict resolution within the professional environment. These 7 steps for resolving conflict are easy and effective for building healthy and cohesive teams.
1. Issue Solving Session
When team members, leadership, or owners are not in agreement, that’s our cue to intervene. Turning a blind eye or allowing executives to win arguments (based on status or fear) without discussion accomplishes nothing. Likewise, team members that opt for a “flight” response when it is more appropriate to “fight” fail to have their ideas heard. It is best to have a third-party involved to serve as a moderator in these situations.
The first step to resolving conflict is to have an “Issue Solving” session. Designate a third-party to facilitate the session and keep things moving in the right direction. The goal of the session is to get the opposing parties to compromise or collaborate with each other to overcome their disagreement peacefully and in the best interest of the organization. The best way to do this is to get into dialogue.
Breaking the ice with an exercise is an effective way to open up the lines of communication and honesty. Session facilitators can choose to do this before, or at the start of the Issue Solving session: have the disagreeing parties list three things about each others’ greatest strengths, and what they perceive as their three biggest weaknesses. It’s a great way to segue into the next step which is getting all the issues out on the table.
2. List all the Issues
When listing out issues, the facilitator should allow the opposing parties to brain dump everything onto a whiteboard. At this stage, no one needs to defend their entries. Items are not up for discussion as of yet so it is crucial the facilitator keeps the parties on track and does not allow them to go on tangents. Right now, we just want to get everything out in the open from each perspective regardless of validity.
Once completed, the facilitator can begin grouping related and synonymous issues using an affinity diagram. Most of the time, the issues listed are going to reflect symptoms of larger issues. For instance, if there are 20 items listed, there’s a good chance they can be traced back to just a handful or perhaps a single root cause.
3. Identify the Root Cause
The affinity diagram will give the facilitator and opposing parties the opportunity to define the problem. When defining the problem, the group should form a “problem statement”. A problem statement per wikipedia is “a concise description of an issue to be addressed or a condition to be improved upon.”
The problem statement should articulate the gap between the current state and desired state. A well-structured problem statement should include: who, what, where, why, and when. The first condition of solving a problem is understanding the problem.
The problem can then be cross-checked by using the “5 Whys” method for identifying root causes. It generally takes five iterations of the questioning process to arrive at the root cause of the problem. Determine why the problem is happening, then why that is, and so on and so forth until the root cause is reached.
Spoiler alert, almost all interpersonal conflict in the workplace comes from either lack of clarification, unclear/unreasonable expectations, lack of accountability, communication issues, lack of resources, poor processes, or substandard execution.
4. Discuss Solutions
This step is the downfall for many organizations attempting to solve issues. People tend to focus their energy on discussion without identifying the true root cause of the problem. If that takes place, significant time will be spent solving nothing and even worse, people will have the sense that they accomplished something they did not.
Assuming the true root cause of the problem has been identified, the facilitator can proceed by having the disagreeing parties present solutions. In this stage, there are a few ways this discussion can go, they are illustrated in the examples below using opposing party A (John) and opposing party B (Mary):
Accommodation-
John says “whatever” and gives in to all of Mary’s solutions to avoid further conflict; or
John says “you’re right Mary” and genuinely realizes he was wrong all along
Avoidance-
Mary walks out of the room to avoid discomfort and further confrontation
Collaboration-
Mary and John both work together and co-create solutions
Competition-
John and Mary have their own ideas and are doing whatever they can to prove their way is the right way
Compromise-
John and Mary both give up a little of what they want to meet in the middle to agree upon a solution
The facilitator should attempt to keep things amicable and ideally collaborative. If collaboration isn’t possible, the next best thing would be for the parties to compromise. Competition, avoidance, and accommodation will likely result in further conflict in the future because they are one-sided.
5. Create a Plan of Action
When the parties have completed their discussion and have agreed upon a viable solution to solve the problem, they must outline the objectives that will accomplish their strategy. Objectives should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time bound (S.M.A.R.T.) so it can clearly be determined that success has been achieved in each area.
The tasks to achieve the objectives can be created in the Issue Solving session; however, depending on the extent and severity of the issue, more specialists may be needed if the conflict issue extends to other areas beyond the interpersonal relationship in question. Do not leave the meeting before the parties are clear on roles, responsibilities, and timelines for progress of the action plan.
6. Follow-up
The next step is often overlooked. In order to see the matter through, the facilitator will need follow-up with the parties to evaluate their progress towards the resolution. Checking in periodically and holding the parties accountable to deadlines will keep the objectives from going by the wayside. If progress is not visible by one or both parties, disciplinary action is warranted.
In some cases, employees who refuse to work towards resolving the conflict will need to be let go. Although rare, there are interpersonal conflicts in which personal values and beliefs are so deeply rooted they cannot be resolved easily. People don’t often change their convictions based on a disagreement with a coworker. The best way to handle this scenario is to listen to where the person is coming from, acknowledge their right to embrace their own beliefs (even if others do not) and make the decision that’s best for the overall health of the organization and team.
7. Implement an Ongoing Program (when applicable)
We briefly hinted in step 5 “Create a Plan of Action” that the issues creating conflict may not be limited to the interpersonal relationship in question. They may actually be symptoms of larger systemic or company-wide problems. If that’s the case, the organization will need to implement an ongoing program to eliminate these issues once and for all.
It is crucial for leadership to define, document, and train on the processes that will facilitate change. Leadership must effectively communicate the “why” behind the need for change if they are to overcome resistance. Expectations will have to be outlined and metrics like KPIs should be put in place to quantify success.
It’s unusual for change to happen overnight, there will likely be a transitory period to reach normalization (how long that lasts is really up to the change managers driving the initiative). Processes should be reviewed and improved continuously until the goal metrics are reached consistently. In the end, the increased performance and reduction of conflict-causing issues will be well-worth the effort.
Conclusion
Forming a healthy and cohesive team is challenging. As long as there are varying personalities and viewpoints, there will always be disagreement. Disagreement is not necessarily a bad thing. Disagreement leads to challenging the status quo, and discussion. Discussion leads to innovation and change. The key is to sift through the misunderstandings, identify the true root causes of problems, and solve them quickly; especially if the issues are being felt throughout the organization. Most conflicts stem from lack of clarification, unclear/unreasonable expectations, lack of accountability, communication issues, lack of resources, poor processes, or substandard execution. These issues are preventable by creating and holding people accountable to processes. When interpersonal conflict presents within the company, take it as a positive opportunity to solve a problem once and for all by using these 7 easy steps for conflict resolution.
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